


scale of one to ten

by voidpen



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:48:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25090381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voidpen/pseuds/voidpen
Summary: happily ever after isn't as easy as winning a war, but it's worth fighting for
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 155





	scale of one to ten

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Annacharlier](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annacharlier/gifts), [for writing these characters](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=for+writing+these+characters).



> just a very short one-shot based on an idea i had at 2am

“How much?”

Catra stirred, surprised by the sound of Adora’s soft voice. She couldn’t look; couldn’t turn and face her girlfriend again after everything she’d put her through. No, after everything _they’d_ been through.

It must have been well past midnight. Catra could tell because of the quiet. Bright Moon wasn’t known for its quiet, Bright Moon was always bustling with joy… with people laughing, talking, making plans for a future they knew would always be there for them.

_“The Horde was never like this,”_ Catra thought to herself. The Horde had sucked her in so deep that she couldn’t find her way out for the longest time. In fact, she knew that without Adora, she would still be trapped there; both by the shackles of her oppressors as well as ropes of her own making.

_“Why couldn’t I just have left with you when you asked me to? When you begged me to?”_ She pondered this thought every night as Adora held her so close she thought she could break. She knew why Adora did it, she was afraid Catra would run. Maybe Catra wasn’t the only one afraid to close her eyes at night.

“Nine…” She almost choked on her response, voice sounding strange even to herself. Catra felt Adora’s body shift behind her, arms gently reaching over to pull Catra over to her chest. Her limbs felt heavy with impossible tension. Just turning over felt impossible as she struggled to suck in a shaky breath.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. They had won. They had defeated every enemy that stood in their way, and Adora had long since forgiven her for the part she played in that war. Even Bow and Glimmer, the last people on earth she expected to forgive her, had taken her in without a second thought. If she were anyone else, she would’ve been relieved… happy even. The girl she’d loved her entire life loved her back, and the family she secretly ached for as a little girl was finally hers. She should’ve been happy.

“Is this okay?”

Adora was now lying under her, one arm wrapped around Catra’s shoulder and the other buried in her hair. Catra felt familiar lips press against her temple, lingering longer than they usually would.

Instead of answering, she curled up even further into Adora, wrapping her tail around her girlfriend’s ankle and burying her face deeper into the space that connected her neck and shoulder.

She knew she was trembling. Cold sweat made her palms feel too bare, so she grabbed onto Adora’s shirt and bunched it up into her hands in an attempt to ground herself.

Perfuma had taught her what to do when the thoughts clung so hard they seemed impossible to shake off. All she had to do was name five things she could see…

_My hands, Adora’s shirt, our bedroom door, the makeshift galaxies Glimmer had spelled to hover over us at night, the picture on the nightstand of me and Adora kissing on the day we defeated Horde Prime… Horde Prime._

She pressed her eyes shut and nuzzled into Adora, willing the memories back into the deepest corners of her mind with everything in her.

“Four things I can feel…” She mumbled to herself in a hurry, almost breathless.

_Adora’s heartbeat, Adora’s nails dragging lightly across my ear, Adora’s breath against my forehead, the scars on Adora’s back that I… my fault._

“No, no, no.” She felt Adora’s arms tighten around her, but the girl still didn’t say anything.

_“Three things you can hear, Catra.”_ Perfuma’s voice reminded her to keep going, keep trying.

_Light tapping against the window. It’s raining… that’s something, at least. Adora and I always loved the rain. The rustling of the sheets beneath us, the sound of Adora’s voice in my head, “Catra, please… stay. I need you.”_

She hadn’t realized she was crying until Adora’s shirt was soaked, clinging to her skin. She had blamed Adora for abandoning her so many times in the past, but Adora never once blamed her for leaving when it mattered the most.

“Adora…” She felt herself speak out, not knowing how the finish the sentence or what she was asking for.

“I’m here.” Adora finally said, “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

_“You’re doing great, Catra. Two things you can smell.”_

The end was nearing now. It always seemed to get worse before it could get better.

_Clean sheets. Adora’s shampoo._

“You’re going to be okay. I promise. I’m never letting you go again.”

Catra was shaking now, sobs wracking her body as she clung to Adora. The joined heat of their bodies was scorching to the point where she could tell they were both sweating, but she just couldn’t bring herself to let go.

_One more. You can do this. She loves you. She won’t leave you again. You’re home now. You have a family. You’re safe._

_“One thing you can taste.”_

With an immeasurable amount of strength, she slowly untangled herself from the embrace and looked up to meet Adora’s eyes. Sometimes, on bad days, Catra found it suffocating to look at Adora and find nothing but love staring back at her. Despite how many times she’d been forgiven, a part of her was always waiting with bated breath for reality to strike.

_Adora could still change her mind. Maybe she’ll finally realize she’s too good for me… that she deserves better. Maybe she’ll leave me for good one day-_

Adora’s lips were on hers before she could finish her thought. Her lips were gentle, leaving room for Catra to pull back if she needed to.

_But maybe she won’t._

Catra pressed further, opening her mouth to allow Adora better access. They both moaned softly when Adora’s tongue brushed against hers, bodies melting together as if coming home.

_“Catra… one thing you can taste.”_

_Love._

They stayed like that for a long time, soft touches and whispered promises to be better _._

Catra knew it would be hard. She may never go through anything as hard as this again and this time, she had Adora. Adora, her best friend and the love of her life. The girl who never hated her, who never stopped being there for her, who never gave up on her.

On nights like these, Adora would always ask Catra one simple question: “How much?” It had become a silent agreement between them. Catra wouldn’t have to talk if she didn’t want to. All she had to do was choose a number to acknowledge how much pain she was in, and Adora was there for her. Every time. Every night. Holding her close and reminding her time and time again that she was loved and that they were forever.

Sometimes it was easier. A six was a good night. They would talk about their lives growing up. Not about anything bad but about just them… little kids who had nothing but each other and survived through it all together. A seven was only a little harder, and Adora was more than happy to turn around and let Catra hold her as if she was a lifeline, pressing Catra’s hand to her heart to let her know this was real. An eight got a lot harder, and it made Catra pull Adora’s entire length over hers to shield her from the rest of the world, and when Adora would try to shift some of her weight onto the mattress for fear of smothering the shorter girl, Catra held her tighter and they fell asleep like that, with Adora kissing her way across Catra’s shoulder blades down to her chest and back up to her tear-streaked face.

It was hard, harder than she ever imagined, but she was getting better. A ten never came. The nines and eights became few and far between. The sevens turned into sixes. And a few weeks later, Adora stopped asking… because she didn’t have to anymore.

They had survived enough trauma and heartache to last them ten lifetimes and they had healed together with the help of their friends. Nights became Catra’s favorite time of day because she looked forward to ending the day with Adora’s arms around her.

They were always saving each other, and now all that was left was for them to be happy, together.

**Author's Note:**

> if you leave a comment, i'll love you forever


End file.
